Thursday 27 August 2009

A bit of an update...

I know the blogging as died down. I dunno why I haven't been busy at all. Just... bumming around a lot. I'm currently working on a new website, moving this blog (see ya Substitute for One's Memories, you have served me well since 2007...). I'm sort of like gonna run several blogs at once, you have my personal one where I rant about life, then I'm gonna have like a bunch of mini blogs where I ran about everything else I like. Like anime, manga, games, books, food and etc. You'll see. It'll take me a while though since I do have an assignment and test next week! Hahaha.

As for life itself, I'm generally okay but I'm starting to get a bit odd again. I can see a sort of pattern in me now. Like, I get on a high for a week then the next one I may feel fine but I just feel a bit low. I don't know.

I was cleaning up my room this morning. I find an envelope in a card, and oh! It's the Christmas card from our early Christmas BBQ last year with some MCAC - related folks. Haha, big mistake I opened it up. Didn't realise I hid photos in there that I should never look at again. It fell out, hit the floor and I picked it up and just stared for a bit. Then I put it away again. What a way to bring the day down. It's not like I have much in my room to remind me of anything, I have never thrown anything away but yeah - there was not much to throw away to begin with. At the most, I just passed something onto Amanda as it was something I could not hide. Everything else, perhaps I should of just thrown away all the other random things that will remind me of stuffs... but I know I can never bring myself to do that.

Zac's Facebook had some fortune cookie application that says... "Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option." Such an awesome quote. I hope I can learn to not prioritise someone else over myself. Not to say I do. I still hold the thought that I am a very selfish individual (although I think most people are). And my world still revolves only around me. But yeah... I hope the point is being made here. It's a bit confusing. Ehehe.

i just want to keep walking forward. I know I'll find a future one day. I guess my last few words are that... well, a number of people have left me behind in life. Because everyone is always walking in different directions. Those people will not read this message ever, but if there was a message I could pass on it would be: "I wish I could have had the chance to share this future with you."

Right, a last note to some random friends then. I don't know why, Amanda did warn me. To never let other people's problems affect you. And perhaps I finally heard one that has. I don't know, the other day I had tears stream down my eyes for the first time in my life that was not for myself, but for someone else. To my dear friend: "Please do not ever regret your decisions. One small mistake is all it takes to forever shut down a path you thought you could always walk down." Things don't always go well. Everything has problems. So, fight for it. Before you lose it forever. And wander around aimlessly, day by day wondering what it was that you wanted to begin with.

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