Shopping is theraputic...

My morning was pretty much melancholy again. I felt a lot better. A lot better. I did snuggle under my blanket a lot though. And maybe a tear or two fell down my face, but it's okay. Nothing really for me to worry about. It was one of those situations where my mind literally really thought nothing in particular, just that the tears would still not stop falling on my face. Rather an annoyance. I feel safest under my blanket these days. But I know it's a childish action from someone attempting to run away.

11:30 AM meant shopping time! I was going to go shopping with Xin, Jia Chee and Sha. The 4 of us! My most lovely foursome. Before I left, I decided in my room that I would spend the day at the shopping centre, free of worry. I would not think of anything that would distress me. Or has been distressing me. I wouldn't sit around, dazed, thinking about memories I should of just buried a long time ago. And it was an awesome day because of that!

I wanted to buy boots! Not expensive ones, just something to wear. As I've been wearing slippers lately, and they are not suitable for the cold weather. And wearing my pair of Sketchers everyday gets boring after a while. So I went boots hunting! And could not find much under my budget. Umm... some things I learnt today! That I can fit children clothing! I should of done that ages ago, just cause children's clothing are so much cuter! Haha. Let's see, I bought boots, a really cheap turtleneck shirt, some cards for people and uhh... something else which I won't talk about in public, lol. Everyone in our group bought stuff for once, haha. I had the King William Chocolate thingy at Boost. It had... too much banana in it. And wasn't too good. Bleh. At the shop with the Shibuya stuff, I tried on a lolita dress. It was really cute. I really liked it but I obviously can't afford it ($160), lol. Bleh. It was way cute though. Sha tried on a corset thingy. And I dunno what Xin went to wear since I never saw it.

Lunch was Hungry Jacks. I needed fast food bad, lol. Haven't had any in ages. Uhh... outside Coles, we ran into Bernie-chan! It was a surprise. We talked for quite a bit, need to meet up with Bernie soon. With Xin and Raine. Too much for us to catch up on! She was going on about the latest gossip regarding people she knows. Her source of gossip? Chris of course. Our resident gossip masters, Chris and Tom, you can count on them to spread everything about everyone so everyone knows what's up with you and your relationships. *sighs* At ALDI, I also ran into Ieja and Zati~ hehe. It was a pleasant surprise. Umm... since our bus was hourly, we had to wait 40 minutes for our bus basically. We all bought lunch for the next three days (pasta / sandwiches) for like $2 (and it became $1 20 minutes later). It was awesome. Haha.

End of the day. Umm.. we got home with so much groceries and stuff my hands were breaking. I went to cook dinner for everyone. Spinach noodles, that turned out too spicy with cabana sausages, onions and mushrooms. It wasn't very good. Cas and Thomas were laughing at the "ice water" in the noodles, like the temperature matters in a list of ingrediants. Dessert was donuts and chocolate! And Xin + Thomas were fighting over who had the more populer packet of nuts in the house. Hahaha. We sat around for ages just talking about random things. Cause I didn't want to get up to study either. I guess the little dream had to end. And I had to come back to good ol' reality again, eh? I didn't get much work done. The night was spent on MSN. And I went to sleep pretty early just cause... I dunno, I didn't... want to stay awake anymore? I guess.

Either way, I'm glad we went shopping today. And I will dearly miss the awesome-ness of our foursome. I'll be crying badly when Jia Chee leaves. And when Sha leaves at the end of the year. Next year will just be me and Xin. *sighs* I know every year... is all about change. As 2009 has proven to me. Changes that I never would expect. I didn't expect 2008 to be so awesome, and I never expected myself to be this hurt in 2009. I dunno what 2010 will be like. I hope... that next year will be a year where everything starts to look up again. Even with the departure of two of my precious housemates. Although I would rather not wait until next year. I hope by next semester, I'll be in a state where when I go out to have fun, I am having fun. Unconditionally. Where I live life glad to see each day pass by. I remember last year, around this time in 2008. I was in a pretty happy state, but I was in a lonely state nonetheless. And I was in a state where sometimes I didn't want each day to come, or that I did not look forward to each day as I should. But still, I was a satisfied individual. As life was peaceful, and good. And it was fun with my housemates. The second half of 2008 took a turn and I really looked forward to everything that came every single little day. Sometimes things happened, but... I never really thought "Oh... I really don't want to wake up from this dream...".

Right now I've backtracked so badly it even outdoes the first half of 2008. I still love my housemates. But... there is just too much around me already. It isn't just me of course. Other friends are also being pulled down with their own problems. I do wonder was it worth it all? Is this like karma? For my own crimes and selfishness. To be too happy in one time meant that once it's gone you're beyond going back to step one. You're like in step minus 50. I can keep walking to get those steps back but... What will 2010 look like? It's scary...

"We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are."