Is not taking this shit any longer...

The summary of today.

1.) Tears
2.) Anger + Bruises from my leg resulting in that anger
3.) Frustration

I woke up thinking about random things that didn't get anywhere. I can't remember anymore what. Oh well. Who the fuck cares, reallly. I went to uni... went to dantai practice for a bit. Went to counsellor. What a waste of time. Not going there again. I can counsel myself better, kthx. Telling me to just 'live and go on' was a load of help wasn't it? Went to apply for extension. Went to lunch table again. Was told how everyone was mad I left the marathon with Lesley to buy presents + cause she wanted to cheer me up (cause I'm a wreck, if people notice me you'll notice that I have trouble eating cause I sometimes can't even pick up the utinsels...).

Was mad at everything in general. I sat the back punching my leg. It now really hurts. Was told by so many to just get over it. Okay, fine, whatever. I can't finish my work. Yeah, I haven't done much for MCAC lately. Or so I think anyway. I dunno what I've been doing. Okay, I get it. I hope everyone has fun when they know what they're getting themselves into after I'm gone. Cause it isn't fun. It isn't fun at all.

Phe came over to comfort me. There was one time I couldn't even see the screen in front of me. Eyes was blocked by tears. Complete and utter frustration really. People wanna FUCK WITH CELINE? Hahahaha!! It's so funny.

There is one thing I can say right now.

DO NOT MESS WITH ME.

I'll show you all what the fuck I can do.

As I said to Phe today...

"This... is... all.. so... fucking... annoying. Shit."

Am someone with a lot of pride. Take after my parents. Am a person who does not like seeing everyone whisper about her. Even though I know it happens. It angers me. There is so much I wanna say but I never say it either. And finally, am someone who puts her friends before her work. I walked out cause I wanted to get presents for friends (who I will not name just yet) and spend time with someone I will otherwise not be able to spend time with. And I definitely don't regret that. It might not have been professional but... that is life. I left the event cause I knew it was gonna run regardless of whether I was there or not.

Thank you Lesley. Thank you Phe-chan. Thank you Yi Xin, Ieja and Magdalene. Enough of the excuses. I'll finish everything even if it kills me now cause you don't disrespect Celine. It makes her really angry. And I've gotten this far for a reason. Nothing ever really did fall into place for me. I got here through sheer PISSING ANNOYING FUCKING HARD WORK.

And if I think about it now. I just overreacted today. People are being nice to me, they said things nicely to me as always... but as always - I blow up cause I can't control my temper or my emotions. I must apologise to the people who I bring down with me, really. They don't deserve it. As Vu2 puts it... RAGGGEEE. LOL. I need to stop raging~

But I will try to get everything done though. Enough of the excuses, eh? And the sob stories. I'll get everything done. Yep. I shall. ^^

Reply to comments...
@ Les: I still say you're crazy, lol. D: D: No more suicide dives please...

"It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about."