Indifference that made a difference...

So I woke up and saw Mag post on MSN to me something along the lines of that... I must really want to be bitch slapped. Yeah, that's probably true. *sighs* I wasted 4 hours in the morning moping, thinking, contemplating, and the usual. When I should do my assignment. I am such a fool I swear. The only thing I can say is that despite the apparent emo-ness of the morning, I recovered myself quite well. Rather then being 'sick' as usual, I was like... oh, FUCK IT got up, took a shower and prepared myself for the marathon. I wonder if this is an improvement? Things are not affecting me as much.

Went down to cut fruit with Yi Xin. Both did some apples and melons. Then we made our way towards the venue. Uhh... the guys were there already. We set up and all that kinda crap. It was pretty good spread actually. I liked how the table was full of healthy food, lol. Rather then just plain snacks. I sat around with Damien for a bit holding the rego table. Talked to people and stuff. Ashleigh made chocolates in a basket, which were cool. I watched like only 5 minutes of anime in the marathon. Bobobo- bobo bo whatever crap?? It was so random I walked out before my low IQ got even lower. @.@ I know that anime was screened cause Remy threatened to stab Drue or something if he didn't do it. He screened it to save his life, lol. Past 3 PM, Lesley came and we left together to Chaddy.

I am not sure whether I should of run off from the marathon. I do not think that many people were happy. And people were apparently looking for me. But *shrugs* Whatever. I had a fun time in Chaddy with Les. That's all that matters. Let's see... we were looking for presents. I won't say for who in case those people end up reading my blog. But we had an awesome time running around looking for stuff. I'm flat broke though. We ran into Bernie-chan momentarily while we were there. Um... had Koko Black~ I finally had some Koko Black~ I never got any while in Aus. I always seemed to miss out when people went. Well, I went to Max Brennor but I think I prefer Koko Black over Max Brennor? I got sick from the Iced Chocolate though... GAH... overload. Choco overload. Past 5 PM we had to make our way back (after I got calls while in Toys R Us from Sam, Raine and etc). Uhh.. David Jones was about to close and we like... need to get through there to get to Les' car. The door... was sliding down and Les like did those action movie suicide dives (okay more like a slide) toward the door slowly going down. I was like.... "Lesley!!! THAT'S DANGEROUS!!! O.O" The person on the other end got pissed cause it is dangerous when you're about to close the store and this person ducks and slides under it. They stopped after that and I just slowly poked my head under. If they didn't stop I wouldn't of dived. I would of been like LOL... I'm in the mall and Lesley is in David Jones.

Then we went back. I'm sorry Sam for never telling you where I went and disappearing. LOL. Uhhh... what else. Yeah, I sort of skipped dinner. We sat around and stuffs. I like how the committee sat around looking miserable while everyone else was eating happily. I sort of jumped in between both groups since when I walked around a bit Phe or someone would grab me. I made an annoucement for T-shirt comp~ new design is pretty awesome. Uhh.. it was phailure on my part just cause like... I made a powerpoint but... I accidentally screened it to everyone before doing the big surprise. *sniffs* After that... I sat around trying to do my assignment. Or talk to randoms outside.

I wasn't in the best moods at night unfortunately, which lead me to... leave the marathon venue at night in the dark. And I took a walk. I went back cause when I took a walk, I saw a group of people. Then I was like OH FUCK, cause you know... I dun wanna be mugged. T.T Then some guy was like "Excuse me..." and I'm like... OH FUCK even more. T.T Luckily he was like "Can I ask you where Lot 10 is??", he was talking about Buliding 10, the Campus Centre. Okay, cool. And he went off with his group. *phew* I then just went back to those benches by the library I enjoyed sitting on. I used to sit on them after MUST sessions because after MUST I was always emo. And I always sat around on those benches to enjoy the cold air, the night sky and the quietness (tranquility~). It's a really peaceful place. At night. I like looking at it, the trees, the sound of the wind... the beautiful night sky - dark and empty. Am wondering when I'll be able to see stars again. Even if the stars were there I don't think I can see it still. Things will remain empty for a while with me anyway. I'm the night sky, and I don't have any stars to fill it up just yet. Because mine walked away from me as I wasn't good enough, eh?

Xin came out to look for me since as always I trouble her by suddenly disappearing when I see fit. I know she was freezing, cause I sat them without moving in freezing wind. I'm sorry hun... temperature doesn't really affect me as much these days. I sort of grew indifferent to a lot of things. It's how like when it was over 30, I was wearing a jacket. I was like... it's hot? Huh, really? Or when it's cold... I could walk around without one if I wanted to. I randomly hurt myself and don't notice these days either. Sad really. We sort of talked a bit. I dunno, talking that doesn't really get anywhere. Didn't make me feel better or worse. I wasn't really that bad anyway, a bit sarcastic. A bit humourous. Lesley took great effort to make me feel happy today, so I didn't want to ruin that good feeling. I mean I did but that's cause I should of just continued ignoring things during the night dinner. Dammit, I should of like turned the volume on my mp3 higher. And wish my laptop didn't die from battery (and for the power plug to break down - requiring me to run around looking for another one). To be honest, I would have to say that I think it is way awkward and a bit stupid to have two people walk in and to have myself only greet one of them and ignore the other one so obviously. As someone as kindly put to me, they think we are both such children and that I am acting like such a kid. =.= *le sighs~* I dunno what people are expecting of me though. To be absolutely overjoyed? Should I?

I went back in with Xin eventually cause I was worried she would freeze. Uhh... Zac came! Which was nice. Won't see him for a while since he's in a design competition. I sat around talking to Zac for a bit... let's see. Practiced dance with Andrew. EVERYTHING WE WORKED ON FRIDAY WAS FOR WASTE! Gahhh. We're starting over again. Cause BoA's "Eat You Up" has two versions of the dance. We learned the American which is easier. Now that we have a video for the Korean version... oh, man. T.T *sobs* It does look cooler. We have a week to learn as we wanna get a performance up by camp.

Nearer to 8 PM me and Xin started to pack up. Then... yeah. Damien drove us home (I was worried we would have to walk home but then we got like "Do you wanna lift home?" offers from like James, Drue, Ashleigh and etc.) Hehe. Yeah, the night was quiet. I just worked on a few thins, MCAC bits and pieces. And went to sleep. Got woken up nearer to 1 AM cause Jia Chee's heater set off the fire alarm. Gahhh~!!! The noise.

Overall day? It was fine. It was pleasant. Greatest ups was the afternoon. Hehe, thanks Les. Yeah, I really DID have fun with you in Chaddy. It was awesome. Let's do that again sometime. ^^ Next week is Great Ocean Road Trip anyway! Yay-ness~ as for my night. I need to work on that, eh? Can't let myself become sad all of a sudden. Silly silly me. Yeah, I am gonna get my ass kicked soon by certain friends if I don't do something. My one week... cut off date is about to complete itself too. Oh dear. T.T

"Smile, even if it's a sad smile, because sadder than a sad smile is the sadness of not knowing how to smile."