It keeps raining. It just KEEPS ON RAINING. It has been raining since my birthday (which was Jan 10 - today is the 21st, lol) every single little day. I wake up, it's raining. It starts raining in the afternoon every so once in a while. It rains every single night! Last night was a bad one. There was thunder and lightening, which I haven't seen in a while and I dunno, the flashing lights in my cold dark little rather empty room really scared me. Wish I wasn't alone in there. *sniffles* I know it's silly but I couldn't shake away the feeling even if I wanted to.
But that wasn't the bad part anyway. I woke up and went to Pusat Bahagia, the school the ISB year 8's were heading to for their field trip. This school is for disabled children, and I was surprised Brunei had a school like this. I was like... wow. A school where there are actually ramps for wheel chairs and multi-tiered handle bars literally in every part of the building. However, I was disappointed that the school was in really bad shape. Like really shape. And it's in an odd location with like... gates everywhere. No one could tell there was a school there. My mum told me that rumours had it that the school was a detention / rehab centre for drug addicts. Oh yay to Brunei. We can easily see what kind of attitude they have for the disabled (although I've no idea why they insist on barring the school with weird metalic gates).
Yesterday's rainstorm was rather chaotic. The huge roundabout in Kiulap area has this tunnel (like the only one in Brunei I can think of). I guess drainage is non-existent as it flooded right to the top of the tunnel apparently (although by the afternoon much of it went down - although the road was closed the entire time). Traffic was everywhere since people had to get around and take detours. There were a million landslides all over the place, no electricity in the Gadong area (ISB and Pusat Bahagia both had no electricity). One half of the secondary school at ISB was flooded (the Art, DT workshop, Geo, History and Math rooms) so they shut the school down by 10:30 (and wanted EVERYONE out of the school by 1 PM). During the trip I went back to ISB for a short while to print pictures with Mr. Green, until I realised there was no electricity (and Mr. Green's class he went back to teach was cancelled).
Anyway, onto Pusat Bahagia. Uhh... I got there, no teachers. The year 8's were playing rather dangerously on the swings. I couldn't decide whether to tell them to get off or not, since if they broke anything, ISB and the teachers would be in for it. Anyway, there were 3 main activities as there were also 3 classes. Teachers there were Mr. Green, Mrs. C, Ms. Natalia and Mr. Grieves. And yeah, system was that the classes roated around these activities. We had tree-planting, painting the corridors and running activities with certain students at Pusat Bahagia. I sort of jumped in between, did nothing most of the time, take photos, supervise them, helped paint and pass messages and stuff. And had to tick off names a lot. I got yelled at during one point in time where I was in charge of superivisng the painters for a while, but then Ms. Natalia in the other group was calling for me (without knowing I had other things to do) and I left the group and well... Mr. Green was not happy. I have not been sort of 'yelled' at for a long long time (since that does not happen in uni anymore). I still dislike the feeling of being scolded. It scares me. Although it was restricted and after that I was in Mr. Green's car and we chatted a bit - he was nice so that was good. Since yeah... they can't reallly scold me much as I'm not a student and I'm... sort of old now (and if I become a teacher I should be an equal). But I do must learn responsibility better. And to have authority. I talked to quite a number of students today but I was talking to them like how I would talk to my friends, lol.
Back at ISB... well Mrs. C wasn't around so I was suddenly vulnerable when I was left there. But Mai, Freda and Ms. Wong were ever so kind to me. So that was nice. Hehe. On our way back from ISB, Mr. Green told me that it was illegal for disabled students in Brunei to walk around in the public (so that's why we don't see them often) without certain permission. I didn't know this, and I was really shocked. Can you imagine a parent being told it is illegal for your child to go outside? What kind of law is this? It was good to watch the year 8's try hard to work with the students of Pusat Bahagia. Although a number of them were constantly complaining about how bored they were, that irritated me to bits. Should be happy to get out of class, I would be more bored sitting about doing calculus all day. I should be more bored then they are, I just wandered around literally doing nothing for most of the time. Although I have a 7 year head start in terms of age to develop something known as patience so can't blame em' I guess.
Wednesday, 21 January 2009
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
Pure Exhaustion
Haha, today was an extremely tiring day at ISB. Okay, about my volunteer time at ISB. How that started was that umm... I needed some much needed distraction. As a way to get me to be as normal as possible again. So that I'm busy enough so that I can stay sane relatively until I get back to Aus. I think the idea of volunteering at ISB part was from Manju. So on the 5th of Jan I think I recall walking up to the front office, and asking whether I can get work there. She took my name and number and they only really took me in cause I was an ex-student. Freda (The Secondary Principal - Mr. Canterford's secretary) phoned me later in the afternoon letting me know that Mrs. Canterford (henceforth will be known as Debbie) would took me in.
So two days later, I went in for an 'informal' interview. They were already gonna let me in but Debbie wanted to know what I wanted and stuff. And I didn't really want anything. Kind of weird making demands when you were the one who suddenly barged in. She had another assistant already, an ex-IB student on GAP year - Nicky (who the IB peeps from my year level should know, she's just one year below). But yeah... since BGIC is next month she'll be working on that and I'll be working in Debbie's extremely busy office (I guess this is what happens when you are the school counsellor, English, Geography and PSE teacher, CAS Coordinator and whatever various other little projects at the same time. Her room has visitors every 15 minutes.
I generally make posters, cut things, clean things up, organise things, pass around messages, make phone calls, book rooms, and do so many little odd jobs I can't even remember anymore. On an average day I do around 10 differents tasks in a timespan of 7:15 AM - around 2:00 PM-ish. I wasn't too happy there at first, all the teachers are different so I was a bit lonely. Don't have friends at ISB either (I dunno the IB people cause like... I wasn't the one who knew our juniors and yeah... I left ISB 4 years ago anyway). So far I've talked to a number of em' though. Ms. Hancox was still around and she reconigsed me instantly, I suspect that she might be why I got in from her comments (said something like "I told em' I knew you" and that "If this is the Celine I'm thinking of she is a responsible, hard-working.. [insert compliment here]". Ms. Wong reconigsed me after a few days (this was funny, I just bumped into her, sad "Hi" shyly and walked off to the staff room kitchen and she did the same... but ran back to me and was like "Are you Celine?? Celine Hong???". She gave me a hug, said I looked impressive now (all grown up and pretty~). Haha, I knew Ms. Wong since I was 9 or 10 so... being 20 now is pretty funny. Ms. Wong is the same as ever (young and beautiful *__*).
Besides that... umm.. Debbie got me to meet a lot of the English teachers. So I generally help out Mr. Grieves once in a while, and I head over to primary two times a week to sit around in Mr. Barett's year 6 class. And yeah I do odd jobs for everyone else. Mr. Grieves is an aussie from Williamstown, so it was funny when he was bringing in aussie slang to English class (he said maccas!! XD). It has been raining in Brunei lately, on a daily basis (since my bday actually) so it's a bit... meh. The gloom and all. And my shoes are getting dirty since I have to walk around so much. I should mention that I've so far barged into dozens of classes passing messages and things. Even if people have no clue who I am they can recongise my face, lol. I dislike barging in though, cause everyone stops moving and stares at you. T.T And I'm just like... "uhhh... yeah.. umm... uhh what was I doing here for again.. oh right!"
Tomorrow is a year 8 field trip to Pusat Bahagia, an arts and crafts school for disabled children. The kids are painting a mural on one of the building walls, cleaning the school up, helping the kids make the crafts and interacting with them. At this school, the crafts made are sold to help raise funds. Apparently ISB wants to take some of these crafts and sell them to donate to the school (although we currently have a lot of fundraisers happening, I would know cause I seem to make posters for all of them - at the top of my head... bake sale to raise funds for a poor Viet toddler who lost a limb to a dog, donations are for his reconstruction surgery, collecting pencil donations for Malaysia flood victims through the organisation: Mercy Malaysia... and it goes on). Funny enough, Mr. Barett's year 6 class is heading to Gadong tomorrow (there doing some colouring worksheet where they count the number of stuff like certain stores, public facilties, bus stops, loading zones and what not). He asked me to come but yeah... one or the other, I think it's more worthwhile for me to check out Pusat Bahagia as I've not been there.
At home... I uhh... go online, do absolutely nothing and continue being bored. The past week I've gone on a reading streak, I've spent ages making this book list (complete with pictures), currently still calculating how many novels I've read so far (it would near about 80). I want to buy so many books now to check it out, it isn't funny. And most of the stuff I want are chick-lits! I seem to be going back into wanting to hear mushy love stories about the most sweetest guys and a women's dodgy and difficult love life where she finally finds the perfect guy in the end (and they live happily after - although we always know that things are never happily ever after - but it's good to hope). Currently reading...
Haha, yeah, Sophie Kinsella lololol. Well, it's an easy read so I wanted it. A bit refreshing after a semester of Dickens and Bronte. Tony Parsons newest book was an impulse buy. I never read his ever so famous "Man and Boy" but yeah, it's pretty interesting. About an English man who's family moves to Shanghai to find a better life. Then he realises what a place China is, especially their "second wife" system, you know... with all those 40 year old secretly having mistresses or a 'permanent girlfriend' as they call with young and beautiful women. I know about this all too well (haha my greatest fear maybe? Marriage is happily ever after until you get old and ugly and someone wants something more new and exciting).
Sophie Kinsella is Sophie Kinsella. Shameless and materialistic, but hilarious. There should be a movie coming out soon for Confessions of a Shopaholic. Am trying to finish both books by the end of the week. Then hopefully I'll continue and finish off Jonathan Stroud's "The Golem's Eye" and maybe either start on the second book of Twilight or Cathy Ahern's "Thanks for the Memories".
So two days later, I went in for an 'informal' interview. They were already gonna let me in but Debbie wanted to know what I wanted and stuff. And I didn't really want anything. Kind of weird making demands when you were the one who suddenly barged in. She had another assistant already, an ex-IB student on GAP year - Nicky (who the IB peeps from my year level should know, she's just one year below). But yeah... since BGIC is next month she'll be working on that and I'll be working in Debbie's extremely busy office (I guess this is what happens when you are the school counsellor, English, Geography and PSE teacher, CAS Coordinator and whatever various other little projects at the same time. Her room has visitors every 15 minutes.
I generally make posters, cut things, clean things up, organise things, pass around messages, make phone calls, book rooms, and do so many little odd jobs I can't even remember anymore. On an average day I do around 10 differents tasks in a timespan of 7:15 AM - around 2:00 PM-ish. I wasn't too happy there at first, all the teachers are different so I was a bit lonely. Don't have friends at ISB either (I dunno the IB people cause like... I wasn't the one who knew our juniors and yeah... I left ISB 4 years ago anyway). So far I've talked to a number of em' though. Ms. Hancox was still around and she reconigsed me instantly, I suspect that she might be why I got in from her comments (said something like "I told em' I knew you" and that "If this is the Celine I'm thinking of she is a responsible, hard-working.. [insert compliment here]". Ms. Wong reconigsed me after a few days (this was funny, I just bumped into her, sad "Hi" shyly and walked off to the staff room kitchen and she did the same... but ran back to me and was like "Are you Celine?? Celine Hong???". She gave me a hug, said I looked impressive now (all grown up and pretty~). Haha, I knew Ms. Wong since I was 9 or 10 so... being 20 now is pretty funny. Ms. Wong is the same as ever (young and beautiful *__*).
Besides that... umm.. Debbie got me to meet a lot of the English teachers. So I generally help out Mr. Grieves once in a while, and I head over to primary two times a week to sit around in Mr. Barett's year 6 class. And yeah I do odd jobs for everyone else. Mr. Grieves is an aussie from Williamstown, so it was funny when he was bringing in aussie slang to English class (he said maccas!! XD). It has been raining in Brunei lately, on a daily basis (since my bday actually) so it's a bit... meh. The gloom and all. And my shoes are getting dirty since I have to walk around so much. I should mention that I've so far barged into dozens of classes passing messages and things. Even if people have no clue who I am they can recongise my face, lol. I dislike barging in though, cause everyone stops moving and stares at you. T.T And I'm just like... "uhhh... yeah.. umm... uhh what was I doing here for again.. oh right!"
Tomorrow is a year 8 field trip to Pusat Bahagia, an arts and crafts school for disabled children. The kids are painting a mural on one of the building walls, cleaning the school up, helping the kids make the crafts and interacting with them. At this school, the crafts made are sold to help raise funds. Apparently ISB wants to take some of these crafts and sell them to donate to the school (although we currently have a lot of fundraisers happening, I would know cause I seem to make posters for all of them - at the top of my head... bake sale to raise funds for a poor Viet toddler who lost a limb to a dog, donations are for his reconstruction surgery, collecting pencil donations for Malaysia flood victims through the organisation: Mercy Malaysia... and it goes on). Funny enough, Mr. Barett's year 6 class is heading to Gadong tomorrow (there doing some colouring worksheet where they count the number of stuff like certain stores, public facilties, bus stops, loading zones and what not). He asked me to come but yeah... one or the other, I think it's more worthwhile for me to check out Pusat Bahagia as I've not been there.
At home... I uhh... go online, do absolutely nothing and continue being bored. The past week I've gone on a reading streak, I've spent ages making this book list (complete with pictures), currently still calculating how many novels I've read so far (it would near about 80). I want to buy so many books now to check it out, it isn't funny. And most of the stuff I want are chick-lits! I seem to be going back into wanting to hear mushy love stories about the most sweetest guys and a women's dodgy and difficult love life where she finally finds the perfect guy in the end (and they live happily after - although we always know that things are never happily ever after - but it's good to hope). Currently reading...
Haha, yeah, Sophie Kinsella lololol. Well, it's an easy read so I wanted it. A bit refreshing after a semester of Dickens and Bronte. Tony Parsons newest book was an impulse buy. I never read his ever so famous "Man and Boy" but yeah, it's pretty interesting. About an English man who's family moves to Shanghai to find a better life. Then he realises what a place China is, especially their "second wife" system, you know... with all those 40 year old secretly having mistresses or a 'permanent girlfriend' as they call with young and beautiful women. I know about this all too well (haha my greatest fear maybe? Marriage is happily ever after until you get old and ugly and someone wants something more new and exciting).
Sophie Kinsella is Sophie Kinsella. Shameless and materialistic, but hilarious. There should be a movie coming out soon for Confessions of a Shopaholic. Am trying to finish both books by the end of the week. Then hopefully I'll continue and finish off Jonathan Stroud's "The Golem's Eye" and maybe either start on the second book of Twilight or Cathy Ahern's "Thanks for the Memories".
Thursday, 15 January 2009
Back to Blogging?
"A part of me is always still really scared. I can't ever seem to catch up to anyone else. I always said I needed to change. But it isn't happening... I don't want to be left behind. The greatest fear of it all."
Okay, one part of me said that I'll go back to my... not so frequent blogging. As much as I would like to blog about what happened in this one year, too much has happened I won't be able to. I would like to one day though just to ... record down everything that has happened. Since well, feelings good, feelings bad they were what I thought, felt and experienced, and I'm the sort of person who wants to hold on to my memories, no matter how good or bad they were. Maybe I'll do a post another time when I can be bothered (which is probably not gonna happen). I should try to record everything down this year at least. 2008 was a year with a lot of change. For me anyway. The whole MCAC presidency thing. My grades sucking completely. I had a great time in Gold Coast with Stanny and Xin. Had probably the best MCAC event to date (our camp). Took part in the Mokuani Dantai which probably killed my grades but was definitely worth it. Met Damian... uhh... yeah and it goes on and on. I lost a lot of weight ~ which is so nice. Nearing 25 pounds now since the beginning of 2008. LOL. Not exactly the healthiest way though (and no, I wasn't starving myself, not my fault I was just never in the condition to eat). I don't really want to be fat forever. Now if only I could lose about 10 more and I would be satified. But I'm already eating an amount of food that is not very healthy. Anyway a lot of bad things happened too (towards the end of semester 2 I should say). When the world decided to start falling down. But all I can say is that I still love my house, my family and my friends. And it isn't gonna happen but I sometimes wish that moment of just laughing and having fun without worries at the dinner table could last forever.
Okay, let's start off with January 10, then. My bday. I didn't want to spend this day alone, or miserable. And I needed to get my mind off a lot of things. So a few days before I messaged Liz on MSN and phoned up Manju asking whether they would want to head out. As always, they are both incredibly busy people. But Liz cancelled her plans, Manju cancelled her dance practices and made sure the morning and afternoon were free at least. So yeah, I was happy for that. Uhh... night of the 9th. I was tired... since I had been working (oh yeah, I volunteered to work at ISB for the time being - it was a suggestion from Manju I think, but Mag said I should get my mind off things since I wasn't... very well, mentally, so yeah I am getting my mind off things!). Anyway, I fell asleep before midnight, lol. Woke up at midnight with a SMS from Amanda and Akmal. Which was a nice surprise. And Damian phoned too. =D
Woke up in the morning. Uhh... parents drove me to The Mall. It was raining really heavily. On the way, me and Rainy were exchanging text messages. She sent me a gift through Amanda during my KL Holiday but I opened it up thinking it was for Christmas. It was a clear photoframe that sits into a bunch of coloured cubes spelling my name. It's really cute, I'll bring it back to Aus and put a photo of the housemates there or something. :D So yay, I got there... uhh Manju and Liz were just standing there looking all hyper and happy. XD Lots of hugs and Manju and Liz going O.O cause I had a different haircut and they said I looked great. So I was like... nyaaa~ =D =D =D I saw them in December but from during Jan up to my birthday I ate absolutely nothing for more reasons then one so I guess weight dropped (by this time I have gained much of it back since I eat now, lol).
They asked me where to go for lunch. I was like.... "Hmmm... dunno, try Cheezbox?" and Liz forced me to go to Swensons. Uhh... okay. Found out later why, lol. So yeah, we ordered lunch, camwhored as usual~ haha lunch was good. Ordered a bunch of food. It was like refereshing for me just because I hadn't eaten so much... for quite a while. What did we have again... uhh, I ate Salmon baked rice, Liz and Manju shared Fish and Chips, Corn chips and chicken caesar salad (okay, I ate part of their food too, lol). Then I was wondering why Manju looked reluctant to eat anymore. Haha, I found out a bit later. A little surprise they had for me. Mmm... candles, brownie cake and ice cream. First surprise they ever did for me (first surprise anyone in Brunei ever did for me) and for the Melb people, lol I knew these two lovelies for like... 12 years (yes, I met them when I was 8). So I wasn't in tears but really touched. How I love them both so much (and you too Mag~ if only you were still in Brunei...). They both gave me little prezzies also which was nice and yeah paid for all the food we ate in Swensons <3 Anyway, after that we were shopping, looking at clothes, shoes and DVDs. Then we went to Utama Bowling (parents picked us up) and like... Liz doens't know how to bowl. And I suck at bowling. I gutter balled EVERY SINGLE BALL! I had like a score of 12. LOL. Even Liz got higher. And out of score one of the 9 pins was a shot I took. Manju was good but she said that she did nothing but bowl in Melbourne, lol.
Then we went to check out Soon Lee which looks like it is about to close down. Then over to Liz's shop (Knic Knacks) - one of Brunei's biggest gift stores. Then we went back to Jollibee since it was about time to go back (well parents were coming at 4:30 - since Liz had Church meetings and Manju had dance practice I think). Drank random things there, haha. Hmm. I went home... went to eat more cake with the family. Bro and his gf gave me their gifts to me. I got a total of uhh... oil burner from Manj, one of those pretty ladylike jewellery stands from Liz, USB drive from bro (I lost my old one so he got me another one lol), and those self-adhesive photo albums from my bro's gf. Oh and my parents threw a new umbrella at me to bring back to Melb and they were like "It's a gift!" :D :D LOL. Tehnically they gave me an ang pow in the morning though (which is what they always do - presents are not their thing). Cake was good but I wasn't really very hungry. Then at night we went to Capers for pasta buffet but I really wasn't hungry so it sort of wasted on me.
Uhh... went home at night and just sat around online. I was really happy with all the Facebook messages. *__* Noticed most of the messages were from Melbourne people, haha I guess the 'friends' I made in College and High School didn't amount to much (cept for the few ya know... Manj, Liz, Mag, Mir, Din, Serena, Zati...). It's life... it's life. I tell myself. Sometimes I wish the past didn't happen though. ^^ I really wanna be more positive and confident. I really do but...
I'm still really afraid now. When I realise that I NEED other people around me but no one really needs me. Of course, no one needs me. Everyone else has someone else already anyway. Whether it be someone from their past, or someone in their present. Why would they need me? No one is gonna feel lonely cause I'm not around. As always, I'm like second best to everyone. Am just too scared now... this thought. I really don't want to think this anymore.
And now I'm back to emo-ness in the posting. I said I wasn't gonna type this. T.T I hate every morning, I hate every night, I hate eating food, I just hate everything right now. Part of me doens't want to wake up from sleep. Or from my dreams. Everyone always says that only the weak don't face reality but... it's so easy to say that.
I'm even afraid to go back to Aus now. I don't know what I'm gonna do or how I'm gonna be like. I'm gonna meet new people right? Make new friends... but... in the end Aus is like a dream too. For once in my life I got to feel what it is like to have a nice big group of friends. All friendly and warm to each other. But it's only temporary. Once everyone finishes they go back to their previous lives just like in the holidays. They don't need me, they have plenty back at home. Do I really want to return to this dream? It'll only hurt me more when I realise that once I finish uni I'll come back to Brunei... and live what I am living right now. I'll be alone. I can't even live with my family anymore.
I'm scared. And all I can do is cry everyday by myself in my room. You can tell me I am weak but I don't see a future right now. Can you see one for yourself? I don't even have the will to come onto MSN these days. I said I was taking a 'break' but... it's just the part of me that is afraid of everyone now. I mean most people don't talk to me on MSN anyway... unless I bother them to oblivion. Of course they don't need to, they have so many others to talk to why should anyone want to talk to me. I'm like nothing. I always said I needed to change. People told me I needed to change. I was really happy Mag when you said that... I was fine staying who I was... cause that made me, me. Even though who I am is practically nothing and someone I hate more then anything.
Now I don't even know what I'm saying.
Okay, one part of me said that I'll go back to my... not so frequent blogging. As much as I would like to blog about what happened in this one year, too much has happened I won't be able to. I would like to one day though just to ... record down everything that has happened. Since well, feelings good, feelings bad they were what I thought, felt and experienced, and I'm the sort of person who wants to hold on to my memories, no matter how good or bad they were. Maybe I'll do a post another time when I can be bothered (which is probably not gonna happen). I should try to record everything down this year at least. 2008 was a year with a lot of change. For me anyway. The whole MCAC presidency thing. My grades sucking completely. I had a great time in Gold Coast with Stanny and Xin. Had probably the best MCAC event to date (our camp). Took part in the Mokuani Dantai which probably killed my grades but was definitely worth it. Met Damian... uhh... yeah and it goes on and on. I lost a lot of weight ~ which is so nice. Nearing 25 pounds now since the beginning of 2008. LOL. Not exactly the healthiest way though (and no, I wasn't starving myself, not my fault I was just never in the condition to eat). I don't really want to be fat forever. Now if only I could lose about 10 more and I would be satified. But I'm already eating an amount of food that is not very healthy. Anyway a lot of bad things happened too (towards the end of semester 2 I should say). When the world decided to start falling down. But all I can say is that I still love my house, my family and my friends. And it isn't gonna happen but I sometimes wish that moment of just laughing and having fun without worries at the dinner table could last forever.
Okay, let's start off with January 10, then. My bday. I didn't want to spend this day alone, or miserable. And I needed to get my mind off a lot of things. So a few days before I messaged Liz on MSN and phoned up Manju asking whether they would want to head out. As always, they are both incredibly busy people. But Liz cancelled her plans, Manju cancelled her dance practices and made sure the morning and afternoon were free at least. So yeah, I was happy for that. Uhh... night of the 9th. I was tired... since I had been working (oh yeah, I volunteered to work at ISB for the time being - it was a suggestion from Manju I think, but Mag said I should get my mind off things since I wasn't... very well, mentally, so yeah I am getting my mind off things!). Anyway, I fell asleep before midnight, lol. Woke up at midnight with a SMS from Amanda and Akmal. Which was a nice surprise. And Damian phoned too. =D
Woke up in the morning. Uhh... parents drove me to The Mall. It was raining really heavily. On the way, me and Rainy were exchanging text messages. She sent me a gift through Amanda during my KL Holiday but I opened it up thinking it was for Christmas. It was a clear photoframe that sits into a bunch of coloured cubes spelling my name. It's really cute, I'll bring it back to Aus and put a photo of the housemates there or something. :D So yay, I got there... uhh Manju and Liz were just standing there looking all hyper and happy. XD Lots of hugs and Manju and Liz going O.O cause I had a different haircut and they said I looked great. So I was like... nyaaa~ =D =D =D I saw them in December but from during Jan up to my birthday I ate absolutely nothing for more reasons then one so I guess weight dropped (by this time I have gained much of it back since I eat now, lol).
They asked me where to go for lunch. I was like.... "Hmmm... dunno, try Cheezbox?" and Liz forced me to go to Swensons. Uhh... okay. Found out later why, lol. So yeah, we ordered lunch, camwhored as usual~ haha lunch was good. Ordered a bunch of food. It was like refereshing for me just because I hadn't eaten so much... for quite a while. What did we have again... uhh, I ate Salmon baked rice, Liz and Manju shared Fish and Chips, Corn chips and chicken caesar salad (okay, I ate part of their food too, lol). Then I was wondering why Manju looked reluctant to eat anymore. Haha, I found out a bit later. A little surprise they had for me. Mmm... candles, brownie cake and ice cream. First surprise they ever did for me (first surprise anyone in Brunei ever did for me) and for the Melb people, lol I knew these two lovelies for like... 12 years (yes, I met them when I was 8). So I wasn't in tears but really touched. How I love them both so much (and you too Mag~ if only you were still in Brunei...). They both gave me little prezzies also which was nice and yeah paid for all the food we ate in Swensons <3 Anyway, after that we were shopping, looking at clothes, shoes and DVDs. Then we went to Utama Bowling (parents picked us up) and like... Liz doens't know how to bowl. And I suck at bowling. I gutter balled EVERY SINGLE BALL! I had like a score of 12. LOL. Even Liz got higher. And out of score one of the 9 pins was a shot I took. Manju was good but she said that she did nothing but bowl in Melbourne, lol.
Then we went to check out Soon Lee which looks like it is about to close down. Then over to Liz's shop (Knic Knacks) - one of Brunei's biggest gift stores. Then we went back to Jollibee since it was about time to go back (well parents were coming at 4:30 - since Liz had Church meetings and Manju had dance practice I think). Drank random things there, haha. Hmm. I went home... went to eat more cake with the family. Bro and his gf gave me their gifts to me. I got a total of uhh... oil burner from Manj, one of those pretty ladylike jewellery stands from Liz, USB drive from bro (I lost my old one so he got me another one lol), and those self-adhesive photo albums from my bro's gf. Oh and my parents threw a new umbrella at me to bring back to Melb and they were like "It's a gift!" :D :D LOL. Tehnically they gave me an ang pow in the morning though (which is what they always do - presents are not their thing). Cake was good but I wasn't really very hungry. Then at night we went to Capers for pasta buffet but I really wasn't hungry so it sort of wasted on me.
Uhh... went home at night and just sat around online. I was really happy with all the Facebook messages. *__* Noticed most of the messages were from Melbourne people, haha I guess the 'friends' I made in College and High School didn't amount to much (cept for the few ya know... Manj, Liz, Mag, Mir, Din, Serena, Zati...). It's life... it's life. I tell myself. Sometimes I wish the past didn't happen though. ^^ I really wanna be more positive and confident. I really do but...
I'm still really afraid now. When I realise that I NEED other people around me but no one really needs me. Of course, no one needs me. Everyone else has someone else already anyway. Whether it be someone from their past, or someone in their present. Why would they need me? No one is gonna feel lonely cause I'm not around. As always, I'm like second best to everyone. Am just too scared now... this thought. I really don't want to think this anymore.
And now I'm back to emo-ness in the posting. I said I wasn't gonna type this. T.T I hate every morning, I hate every night, I hate eating food, I just hate everything right now. Part of me doens't want to wake up from sleep. Or from my dreams. Everyone always says that only the weak don't face reality but... it's so easy to say that.
I'm even afraid to go back to Aus now. I don't know what I'm gonna do or how I'm gonna be like. I'm gonna meet new people right? Make new friends... but... in the end Aus is like a dream too. For once in my life I got to feel what it is like to have a nice big group of friends. All friendly and warm to each other. But it's only temporary. Once everyone finishes they go back to their previous lives just like in the holidays. They don't need me, they have plenty back at home. Do I really want to return to this dream? It'll only hurt me more when I realise that once I finish uni I'll come back to Brunei... and live what I am living right now. I'll be alone. I can't even live with my family anymore.
I'm scared. And all I can do is cry everyday by myself in my room. You can tell me I am weak but I don't see a future right now. Can you see one for yourself? I don't even have the will to come onto MSN these days. I said I was taking a 'break' but... it's just the part of me that is afraid of everyone now. I mean most people don't talk to me on MSN anyway... unless I bother them to oblivion. Of course they don't need to, they have so many others to talk to why should anyone want to talk to me. I'm like nothing. I always said I needed to change. People told me I needed to change. I was really happy Mag when you said that... I was fine staying who I was... cause that made me, me. Even though who I am is practically nothing and someone I hate more then anything.
Now I don't even know what I'm saying.
Sunday, 4 May 2008
The April Post?
I missed my April post! Haha, I've been busy. And I'm gonna be even busier the next few weeks. The pain of it all. Okay, somehow or another I became the president of MCAC. Reality never did hit me, but let me say, I was starting to feel sick after I won the election. I guess everyone's "I'm expecting stuff from you", or the "Don't screw up or I'm gonna kill you" or "Try to at least get close to what the previous committee did" sort of messages affected my mentality to some extent. See, at least I didn't get to like how I was in February this year, you know with the whole 'not eating for 4 days' thing. That would of sucked (I hated how everything tasted like shit to me that time, so I couldn't eat a thing). My saving grace was that Yi Xin became Secretary with me so she can understand what is running through my head even if no one else can. Librarian's still Drue, Sam's my VP and James is my treasurer. This year's committee, 3 white guys, Yi Xin and me. LOL.
Besides that, I have not done much. I spent most of my time either with my housemates group or MCAC people. I still do go to GFN though that is rather minimal now in how it affects me. Rather sadly I must say. MCAC we uhh.... did go to laser wars. And that took a lot of work on my part as I had to like make a book thingy for Vu and the presentation for the old committee in limited time. Laser wars itself was fun but I REALLY SUCK AT IT. And 6 hours was long. And it was in the middle of the night, I was exhausted even before laser wars started. So I sort of didn't even want to go. I did enjoy it though. I won't even mention a certain committee meeting we had to do during laser wars which was like the most retarded thing anyone could do for a first meeting but I needed a damn motion for something... bleh. T.T
Oh yeah, I went to Animania also. With umm... Lee, Tommy, Naz, Chris... uhh.. who else. @.@ And I saw Din there again! He's looking... like himself as usual. I only go to talk to him for like 5 minutes though. We were still going on about height even then. Heh. After Animania our group met up with Raine-sama and we want to K-Box. I've never actually tried karaoke first to be honest. I always just watched. So it was... a weird experience. I didn't even want to sing at first either but I got pulled into it eventually when Chris was like looking for songs for me or something. Alex, Bernie and Drue randomly came in later and I think we had like Indian dinner or something. I shared my food with Naz.
Oh yeah, and we had a sleepover at Bernie's. See, I wanted a girls sleepover, but in the end we had more guys and it turned into some drinking party. Only me and Yi Xin didn't drink in the end. T.T I hardly slept also, what with damn James kicking at me and then Raine decided to sleep in between us but she sort of kicked me also I think... and then laser wars was straight after that at night. @.@
I would say more but I don't know what to say. This is why I used to do daily entries. I forget what I do within two days if I don't write it down somewhere. Let's just say I'm gonna have a pretty hard next few weeks coming up. My placements start tomorrow also. I'll be going to Mount Waverly Secondary College. By myself, as my 'partner' has like the opposite timetable from me and we won't see each other that often.
Besides that, I have not done much. I spent most of my time either with my housemates group or MCAC people. I still do go to GFN though that is rather minimal now in how it affects me. Rather sadly I must say. MCAC we uhh.... did go to laser wars. And that took a lot of work on my part as I had to like make a book thingy for Vu and the presentation for the old committee in limited time. Laser wars itself was fun but I REALLY SUCK AT IT. And 6 hours was long. And it was in the middle of the night, I was exhausted even before laser wars started. So I sort of didn't even want to go. I did enjoy it though. I won't even mention a certain committee meeting we had to do during laser wars which was like the most retarded thing anyone could do for a first meeting but I needed a damn motion for something... bleh. T.T
Oh yeah, I went to Animania also. With umm... Lee, Tommy, Naz, Chris... uhh.. who else. @.@ And I saw Din there again! He's looking... like himself as usual. I only go to talk to him for like 5 minutes though. We were still going on about height even then. Heh. After Animania our group met up with Raine-sama and we want to K-Box. I've never actually tried karaoke first to be honest. I always just watched. So it was... a weird experience. I didn't even want to sing at first either but I got pulled into it eventually when Chris was like looking for songs for me or something. Alex, Bernie and Drue randomly came in later and I think we had like Indian dinner or something. I shared my food with Naz.
Oh yeah, and we had a sleepover at Bernie's. See, I wanted a girls sleepover, but in the end we had more guys and it turned into some drinking party. Only me and Yi Xin didn't drink in the end. T.T I hardly slept also, what with damn James kicking at me and then Raine decided to sleep in between us but she sort of kicked me also I think... and then laser wars was straight after that at night. @.@
I would say more but I don't know what to say. This is why I used to do daily entries. I forget what I do within two days if I don't write it down somewhere. Let's just say I'm gonna have a pretty hard next few weeks coming up. My placements start tomorrow also. I'll be going to Mount Waverly Secondary College. By myself, as my 'partner' has like the opposite timetable from me and we won't see each other that often.
Monday, 31 March 2008
The March Post!
Nooo! I have like less then a day before it's no longer March anymore. Let's make the March post, quick! Haha. Okay, I sort of dropped the blog thing since I'm too busy now. Which is a shame since I liked what I did before, I sort of want to keep doing it (it will be fun to read in the future). What have I done in the past month? Well, a lot of things. Mostly MCAC of course. I've joined the Wu Shu club, so my training in that is fun, painful at times but fun. And when I say painful I don't mean physical pain, Wu Shu taught at Monash has no actual sparring so no one is gonna floor me (thankfully) just that I'm unfit and inflexible so you know, telling me to stretch that much, kick that high or do 400 kicks continuously is bound to take its toll on me.
As for MCAC, we've had our opening BBQ. Was a success although I was really busy for that, I helped with registration and did the actual BBQ then. Our Easter Marathon, I helped prepare food when I got there early, helped registration a bit and just sat around since I wasn't really interested in watching whatever. We had DDR at Bernie's, which wasn't really much of a DDR party but more like... random games (and Guitar Hero). Went to Supanova yesterday! It wasn't that good, it was a pretty bad con actually, but the people I was with was fun (MCAC people of course, we've had a lot of new active members so our group has expanded quite a bit). Had a load of trouble getting home from Supanova. The city loop was done, had to change trains in Richmond, missed the train, waited half an hour. The next train went to the wrong platform, and once again we went running. Then I stayed in Bernie's house for a bit before she drove us back.
AGM for MCAC is coming up in week 8. I'm currently running for VP but I've had a few requests from people to run for prez, which I'm still thinking about. I'll have to talk to Vu about that since being prez of MCAC.... was NOT something I would of expected from the likes of me last year! I mean, I was this emo loner last year... and now I might be prez or VP? It's like... so different now. Haha. I am different I guess?
I changed to contacts a few weeks ago. So I've dropped my glasses. I just wear em' at home now (or when I'm too lazy to put the contacts on). They were EXPENSIVE! I hope I can buy em' cheaper in Brunei once the current ones expire.
I went to the beach for some MUISS trip a few weeks back (March the 1st I think). Then when I came back I got a rather big surprise. Everyone disappeared except for Jia Chee in the house, and like, when it was dinner... I was lured to Yi Xin's room and they all yelled surprise! Well it was the usual bunch in my house with Brian and Tsan. I was like... uhh... D: D: D: *walks away*. I was really tired from the beach trip so my mind was kind of blank. Anyway they decided to host a super belated birthday party for me, Sharon cooked pasta, Yi Xin made salad and garlic bread, Jia Chee cooked onion soup and they had a lovely cake and everything! It was really weird, I've never had friends do stuff for my birthday for me. They gave me this nice box that was decorated by Jia Chee and they all wrote comments on it. They then printed pictures of us and stuck it into the interior of the box. With a necklace inside. It's so awesome. *_*
I've always wondered whats it like for friends to host a small party for you. Hehe, now I know. I always thought I would cry (last year I would of, in my loner days). Guess this year I didn't just cause I'm happy with daily life as it is, I don't feel depressed or lonely anymore. I'm happy I ended up living with Yi Xin, Jia Chee, Sharon and Stan (okay he doesn't live there but he's always there LOL). And with MCAC expanding I guess I don't have to worry about losing friends and the group shrinking in size. I mean our lunches are huge now. All these new first years. O.O
My work isn't going too well, so I must try harder in that. We spent most of Easter just studying. And eating chocolate bunnies. I bought 5 bunnies to represent each person, lol. So far, everyone has been eaten cept for me and Yi Xin.
Right I should mention that I met Din at Supanova yesterday with his friend from JIS. Umm... Din sounds different now. O.O I haven't met him in... years. LOL. So I was like O.o on the phone. And he's taller, hair is long. He reminded me of a kid during high school, haha it seems he isn't anymore. I wonder what it would be like to meet other ex-ISB people I haven't seen since year 11. Seems like such a long time ago... I wonder if they would recognize me if I walked in front of them?
I might post weekly now. Let's see how things go!
As for MCAC, we've had our opening BBQ. Was a success although I was really busy for that, I helped with registration and did the actual BBQ then. Our Easter Marathon, I helped prepare food when I got there early, helped registration a bit and just sat around since I wasn't really interested in watching whatever. We had DDR at Bernie's, which wasn't really much of a DDR party but more like... random games (and Guitar Hero). Went to Supanova yesterday! It wasn't that good, it was a pretty bad con actually, but the people I was with was fun (MCAC people of course, we've had a lot of new active members so our group has expanded quite a bit). Had a load of trouble getting home from Supanova. The city loop was done, had to change trains in Richmond, missed the train, waited half an hour. The next train went to the wrong platform, and once again we went running. Then I stayed in Bernie's house for a bit before she drove us back.
AGM for MCAC is coming up in week 8. I'm currently running for VP but I've had a few requests from people to run for prez, which I'm still thinking about. I'll have to talk to Vu about that since being prez of MCAC.... was NOT something I would of expected from the likes of me last year! I mean, I was this emo loner last year... and now I might be prez or VP? It's like... so different now. Haha. I am different I guess?
I changed to contacts a few weeks ago. So I've dropped my glasses. I just wear em' at home now (or when I'm too lazy to put the contacts on). They were EXPENSIVE! I hope I can buy em' cheaper in Brunei once the current ones expire.
I went to the beach for some MUISS trip a few weeks back (March the 1st I think). Then when I came back I got a rather big surprise. Everyone disappeared except for Jia Chee in the house, and like, when it was dinner... I was lured to Yi Xin's room and they all yelled surprise! Well it was the usual bunch in my house with Brian and Tsan. I was like... uhh... D: D: D: *walks away*. I was really tired from the beach trip so my mind was kind of blank. Anyway they decided to host a super belated birthday party for me, Sharon cooked pasta, Yi Xin made salad and garlic bread, Jia Chee cooked onion soup and they had a lovely cake and everything! It was really weird, I've never had friends do stuff for my birthday for me. They gave me this nice box that was decorated by Jia Chee and they all wrote comments on it. They then printed pictures of us and stuck it into the interior of the box. With a necklace inside. It's so awesome. *_*
I've always wondered whats it like for friends to host a small party for you. Hehe, now I know. I always thought I would cry (last year I would of, in my loner days). Guess this year I didn't just cause I'm happy with daily life as it is, I don't feel depressed or lonely anymore. I'm happy I ended up living with Yi Xin, Jia Chee, Sharon and Stan (okay he doesn't live there but he's always there LOL). And with MCAC expanding I guess I don't have to worry about losing friends and the group shrinking in size. I mean our lunches are huge now. All these new first years. O.O
My work isn't going too well, so I must try harder in that. We spent most of Easter just studying. And eating chocolate bunnies. I bought 5 bunnies to represent each person, lol. So far, everyone has been eaten cept for me and Yi Xin.
Right I should mention that I met Din at Supanova yesterday with his friend from JIS. Umm... Din sounds different now. O.O I haven't met him in... years. LOL. So I was like O.o on the phone. And he's taller, hair is long. He reminded me of a kid during high school, haha it seems he isn't anymore. I wonder what it would be like to meet other ex-ISB people I haven't seen since year 11. Seems like such a long time ago... I wonder if they would recognize me if I walked in front of them?
I might post weekly now. Let's see how things go!
Sunday, 24 February 2008
The February Post!
Okay, I may post more often now that uni has started since well... I tend to spend a lot of time at home + on the comp during uni times since I don't have much contact hours (I'm supposed to be reading I guess during those times but I don't...). I'm finally almost settled into my new home here. Heh, it didn't start out how I expected. Who would of thought when I came, for one reason or another I was a bit depressed, and I didn't eat a thing for 3 and a half days, besides the random stuff Jia Chee attempted to make me eat (and lots of tea and water). Luckily I've regained my appetite and I'm pretty happy right now, so yeah, no worries!
I guess I'll talk about orientation a bit? Let's see, when I landed in Aus, I got out of immigration pretty fast but customs took longer. I told Drue to come pick me up at 9 AM but I was out by 8:30. At the new home, well I was absolutely shocked and freaked out that there was this fireplace in my little room. T.T And yeah, the room is even smaller then my Halls one so my claustrophobia trait kicked in for a few days (which was one of the reasons for my inability to eat...). Anyway, I eventually on this day had to go to a meeting for MCAC at 1:30 PM about O-week, where Vu made us do a test run for what to say to potential new members during the Clubs carnival. T.T I uhh... went shopping to Coles after that cause I was desperate for a bit of food to feel secure, since before that I think I hate like one egg and a bit of bread stolen from Sharon... then at 5:30 PM was the GFN meeting which I was late to. There was food provided there which I took fried noodles but I think I ate like 5 strands of that. It was Mitze's bday also so we had some nice purple cake.
Day two. Free pancakes! Not! Hahah,a me Sharon and Jia Chee got caught eating the free pancakes for new students by Jimmy (we saw Alex and V there earlier too but they wouldn't care about us doing that) and he called us over to his group of volunteers for the workshop later on for new students. Yeah, we ended up helping them until the afternoon. T.T I got free lunch also (which I took a few bites and threw away might I add). Went to Coles after to buy stuff. Amanda came home late at night so I felt a bit better during this time to see her. Although I think I was a bit unstable during this time (I kind of forgot now but I remember smiling one second and crying the next).
Day three. This was traumatizing. The past 2 days had been over 30 degrees. It was HOT. OMG, it rained on this day! I froze to death. Today was the clubs carnival for o-week. I, of course helped out with MCAC. Yep, luckily we had a tent (unlike the poor souls who didn't) so I was dry, but extremely cold. My little jacket didn't help much. Tent was mostly occupied with me, Vu, sometimes Chris, Bernie came by a bit, Owen, Damien, Amanda, Jia Chee, Alex a bit (he ran between us and the neighbouring Japanese club) and Nat who was cosplaying. I was happy to recruit quite a number of people with my advertising (although it was rather difficult and different for me to say the same things like numerous times). It seems MCAC managed to get more female members this year, I wonder if the presence of me and Nat (and Amanda and Jia Chee when they were there) helped?
The cold weather was sort of a downer though. I hated having to run about promoting with my umbrella.
Day four. More MCAC promoting goodness. It was hot and sunny today. I had at thicket coat but it was hoooottt. I got less members on this day since I was lazy and didn't feel like talking as much. But it was a quiet and pleasant day. Saw Raine for a short while! This was also the 15th day of Chinese New Year (the last day) so I asked the group (Sharon, Stan, Amanda and Jia Chee) to go eat outside at least rather then at home. We just ate at Clayton, it wasn't too bad. Dinner at this time was the first time I had a proper meal since I arrived in Australia (although I didn't finish it). I am actually sort of amazed I managed to not be hungry despite eating only scraps, bits and pieces for the past 3 days. I finally got the garage controller from Nik who lives at Izzati's house. My stuff is all there and I've been living the past 4 days without it. It was hard. >.<
Day 5. Uhh... what did I do here? Rest and relaxation I think. We cleaned the kitchen and Amanda cleaned the bathroom also. Our house became more livable thankfully. At 5 I think I went over to the Townhouse (Izzati's place) since Nik needed the garage control. I chatted to her for a bit in the comforts of the Townhouse's lovely living room. Shame our house doesn't have one (well me and Jia Chee live in the living room LOL).
Day 6. Me and Amanda finally got our stuff. I was lazy to unpack though since it was late. We went to Clayton also instead of unpacking and had a rather torturous time dragging all the stuff back. Jia Chee cooked some nice food though (I did too but it wasn't nice, haha). And I officially declare myself able to eat solid food again without any problems (and thus well, except for my cough which I still have currently, but that's just a minor physical illness).
Day 7. Went to Clayton for the festival. It was... dull actually. Oh well. Came back and I unpacked all my stuff! My room is now livable and more like a room. At least I don't disdain it as much as I did before. I feel a lot better now also. Sharon cooked porridge for us all so that was rather nice. Went to sleep by 12 since I had 9 AM class today.
And the first day of uni second year 2008! Umm... Education. Was. MEH. LOL. Education depressed me again, I've been reminded why I didn't really like uni and Aus too much when I came here. It's like.... LONELINESS once again! Education has almost no International students and I usually can't connect to locals (excluding MCAC people who are like... the weird locals who can connect to Asians more easily for obvious reasons). My tutorial... was rather boring for me and I disliked it. I decided to run to allocate to switch to the 2 PM one where Debbie (my partner last year) is. At least then I see a familiar face.
I then idled for an hour. In that hour, I managed to see and say hi to Nabila, who looks different, Rohit annnnd Brian. I also started having a coughing fit in that hour, where I threw up (after running through the campus centre to the toilet). I think I choked badly on the dust in the campus centre (as it is still under construction). Anyway, at 12 I went to the free Tango class at MDS (Monash Dance Sport). Didn't see anyone I know there, Tsan, Han Lin and Mun Jone came by but they didn't join in and only stayed momentarily. At this time I was still a bit... fazed, annoyed, irritated and depressed over my Education tutorial so I have to apologize to Han Lin and Mun Jone actually for not really saying hi, paying attention or showing any recognition that I knew it was them (I did though just that.... I was in my "whatever dunno don't care" mood).
Ate lunch with Amanda, Jie Yen and Jia Chee then went for free Salsa class! MDS classes for the first week are free, so you can see which one you wanna do. Amanda and Jia Chee joined this one, and Tsan and Mun Jone came eventually also. Salsa is more tiring then Tango, but Salsa is toooo.... sexy for me. Haha, like, you gotta be hot to look really good in it ya know. Tango requires a male partner you can really trust. I think I will probably stick with two dances (Swing on Wednesday and Hip-Hop on Friday). I was happy to see I CAN DO SWING NOW! Before, I was stuck cause MCAC screenings was at 1 PM Weds and so was Swing, but everything got pushed back to 2 PM! Someone is on my side here! After Salsa I ran to Chinese class, it was... weird. Different for me. It was a 2 hour lecture and I was late so booo, didn't make any new friends or anything. Hopefully I will have more luck in my tutorial.
Yeah, my spirit went down a bit since I wanted to make more friends in my classes (I didn't do that at all last year with the exception of Raine, the only friend I could think of that I met originally as a classmate). However, unlike last year, where besides being like this I just went back home to the Halls alone in my loneliness (yes I was depressed last year, I was the sort of person that should go see a counselor, the irony of it is now I'm part of GFN where I help sort of people who were... like me....) this year I was happy to return home with Sharon, Jia Chee, Amanda and Stan around~ XD XD
Tomorrow is... more MCAC promoting stall goodness. Except tomorrow Raine will be there the entire day so thus I will be there to sit with her. I'll try to grab a few more random new members hopefully (we've gotten like over 120 though~).
I guess I'll talk about orientation a bit? Let's see, when I landed in Aus, I got out of immigration pretty fast but customs took longer. I told Drue to come pick me up at 9 AM but I was out by 8:30. At the new home, well I was absolutely shocked and freaked out that there was this fireplace in my little room. T.T And yeah, the room is even smaller then my Halls one so my claustrophobia trait kicked in for a few days (which was one of the reasons for my inability to eat...). Anyway, I eventually on this day had to go to a meeting for MCAC at 1:30 PM about O-week, where Vu made us do a test run for what to say to potential new members during the Clubs carnival. T.T I uhh... went shopping to Coles after that cause I was desperate for a bit of food to feel secure, since before that I think I hate like one egg and a bit of bread stolen from Sharon... then at 5:30 PM was the GFN meeting which I was late to. There was food provided there which I took fried noodles but I think I ate like 5 strands of that. It was Mitze's bday also so we had some nice purple cake.
Day two. Free pancakes! Not! Hahah,a me Sharon and Jia Chee got caught eating the free pancakes for new students by Jimmy (we saw Alex and V there earlier too but they wouldn't care about us doing that) and he called us over to his group of volunteers for the workshop later on for new students. Yeah, we ended up helping them until the afternoon. T.T I got free lunch also (which I took a few bites and threw away might I add). Went to Coles after to buy stuff. Amanda came home late at night so I felt a bit better during this time to see her. Although I think I was a bit unstable during this time (I kind of forgot now but I remember smiling one second and crying the next).
Day three. This was traumatizing. The past 2 days had been over 30 degrees. It was HOT. OMG, it rained on this day! I froze to death. Today was the clubs carnival for o-week. I, of course helped out with MCAC. Yep, luckily we had a tent (unlike the poor souls who didn't) so I was dry, but extremely cold. My little jacket didn't help much. Tent was mostly occupied with me, Vu, sometimes Chris, Bernie came by a bit, Owen, Damien, Amanda, Jia Chee, Alex a bit (he ran between us and the neighbouring Japanese club) and Nat who was cosplaying. I was happy to recruit quite a number of people with my advertising (although it was rather difficult and different for me to say the same things like numerous times). It seems MCAC managed to get more female members this year, I wonder if the presence of me and Nat (and Amanda and Jia Chee when they were there) helped?
The cold weather was sort of a downer though. I hated having to run about promoting with my umbrella.
Day four. More MCAC promoting goodness. It was hot and sunny today. I had at thicket coat but it was hoooottt. I got less members on this day since I was lazy and didn't feel like talking as much. But it was a quiet and pleasant day. Saw Raine for a short while! This was also the 15th day of Chinese New Year (the last day) so I asked the group (Sharon, Stan, Amanda and Jia Chee) to go eat outside at least rather then at home. We just ate at Clayton, it wasn't too bad. Dinner at this time was the first time I had a proper meal since I arrived in Australia (although I didn't finish it). I am actually sort of amazed I managed to not be hungry despite eating only scraps, bits and pieces for the past 3 days. I finally got the garage controller from Nik who lives at Izzati's house. My stuff is all there and I've been living the past 4 days without it. It was hard. >.<
Day 5. Uhh... what did I do here? Rest and relaxation I think. We cleaned the kitchen and Amanda cleaned the bathroom also. Our house became more livable thankfully. At 5 I think I went over to the Townhouse (Izzati's place) since Nik needed the garage control. I chatted to her for a bit in the comforts of the Townhouse's lovely living room. Shame our house doesn't have one (well me and Jia Chee live in the living room LOL).
Day 6. Me and Amanda finally got our stuff. I was lazy to unpack though since it was late. We went to Clayton also instead of unpacking and had a rather torturous time dragging all the stuff back. Jia Chee cooked some nice food though (I did too but it wasn't nice, haha). And I officially declare myself able to eat solid food again without any problems (and thus well, except for my cough which I still have currently, but that's just a minor physical illness).
Day 7. Went to Clayton for the festival. It was... dull actually. Oh well. Came back and I unpacked all my stuff! My room is now livable and more like a room. At least I don't disdain it as much as I did before. I feel a lot better now also. Sharon cooked porridge for us all so that was rather nice. Went to sleep by 12 since I had 9 AM class today.
And the first day of uni second year 2008! Umm... Education. Was. MEH. LOL. Education depressed me again, I've been reminded why I didn't really like uni and Aus too much when I came here. It's like.... LONELINESS once again! Education has almost no International students and I usually can't connect to locals (excluding MCAC people who are like... the weird locals who can connect to Asians more easily for obvious reasons). My tutorial... was rather boring for me and I disliked it. I decided to run to allocate to switch to the 2 PM one where Debbie (my partner last year) is. At least then I see a familiar face.
I then idled for an hour. In that hour, I managed to see and say hi to Nabila, who looks different, Rohit annnnd Brian. I also started having a coughing fit in that hour, where I threw up (after running through the campus centre to the toilet). I think I choked badly on the dust in the campus centre (as it is still under construction). Anyway, at 12 I went to the free Tango class at MDS (Monash Dance Sport). Didn't see anyone I know there, Tsan, Han Lin and Mun Jone came by but they didn't join in and only stayed momentarily. At this time I was still a bit... fazed, annoyed, irritated and depressed over my Education tutorial so I have to apologize to Han Lin and Mun Jone actually for not really saying hi, paying attention or showing any recognition that I knew it was them (I did though just that.... I was in my "whatever dunno don't care" mood).
Ate lunch with Amanda, Jie Yen and Jia Chee then went for free Salsa class! MDS classes for the first week are free, so you can see which one you wanna do. Amanda and Jia Chee joined this one, and Tsan and Mun Jone came eventually also. Salsa is more tiring then Tango, but Salsa is toooo.... sexy for me. Haha, like, you gotta be hot to look really good in it ya know. Tango requires a male partner you can really trust. I think I will probably stick with two dances (Swing on Wednesday and Hip-Hop on Friday). I was happy to see I CAN DO SWING NOW! Before, I was stuck cause MCAC screenings was at 1 PM Weds and so was Swing, but everything got pushed back to 2 PM! Someone is on my side here! After Salsa I ran to Chinese class, it was... weird. Different for me. It was a 2 hour lecture and I was late so booo, didn't make any new friends or anything. Hopefully I will have more luck in my tutorial.
Yeah, my spirit went down a bit since I wanted to make more friends in my classes (I didn't do that at all last year with the exception of Raine, the only friend I could think of that I met originally as a classmate). However, unlike last year, where besides being like this I just went back home to the Halls alone in my loneliness (yes I was depressed last year, I was the sort of person that should go see a counselor, the irony of it is now I'm part of GFN where I help sort of people who were... like me....) this year I was happy to return home with Sharon, Jia Chee, Amanda and Stan around~ XD XD
Tomorrow is... more MCAC promoting stall goodness. Except tomorrow Raine will be there the entire day so thus I will be there to sit with her. I'll try to grab a few more random new members hopefully (we've gotten like over 120 though~).
Monday, 21 January 2008
The obligatory January post!
Making a post so I made one in Janaury! Bwahaha. I have plenty I could type about, like my vacation for instance. But I'm JUST SO LAZY. I'm so lazy these days I'm not even stuffed enough to get off my couch to get water to drink cause I'm thirsty. Anyway, my holidays has been rather dull, silent, quiet, peaceful, yet good in a nice relaxing way. It's quite a contrast to the rest of the year where I never get enough sleep, always have these panda eyes and I'm worrying about my essays and how do I write them to get my Distinction.
I may make a post about my holiday actually, but I'll get past my current worry first. Actually, yes. My holiday has been haunted by a rather large worrying. And that my friends is DRIVING. Driving a manual car is so difficult *cries*. My driving test is the 26th of January. I still have lessons (I badgered my instructor for more lessons, I've now taken more compared to everyone else normally). The pressure is starting to get to me, since there's a huge chance I'll fail (driving itself is alright, it's just the part of the test known as SIDE PARKING AND THE HILL. Side parking is just a bit too difficult for me sometimes, and I have a 50% of dropping down the hill when I stop on it). I need to try my best. If I can get past this, I won't have to worry anymore. Then I can just take it slowly practicing on my parent's automatic car.
I may make a post about my holiday actually, but I'll get past my current worry first. Actually, yes. My holiday has been haunted by a rather large worrying. And that my friends is DRIVING. Driving a manual car is so difficult *cries*. My driving test is the 26th of January. I still have lessons (I badgered my instructor for more lessons, I've now taken more compared to everyone else normally). The pressure is starting to get to me, since there's a huge chance I'll fail (driving itself is alright, it's just the part of the test known as SIDE PARKING AND THE HILL. Side parking is just a bit too difficult for me sometimes, and I have a 50% of dropping down the hill when I stop on it). I need to try my best. If I can get past this, I won't have to worry anymore. Then I can just take it slowly practicing on my parent's automatic car.
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